Staying Lorcan
by TamariChan
Summary: He looks at Lily and he sees Ginny- he can't forget, and she can't stay.


**Disclaimer: The world and characters of Harry Potter belong to J.K. Rowling.  
Written for the Pairing One Hour Challenge/The Hardest Challenge on HPFC- I did the 2 hour challenge but I didn't get enough words in the time allotted. Here it is anyway!  
**

**Announcement at bottom.  
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The first thing he notices about her is her eyes. They're the exact shade of Molly Weasley's- a deep brown- nothing like the aqua the Weasleys are known for.

Brown is an ugly color, Lorcan thinks, but it works for Ginny Potter.

But then, everything works for Ginny, Ginny with her perfect family, Ginny with that _smile_ and laugh (and oh, Lorcan was lost before he had time to blink).

-:-

The second thing he notices about her is her impatience. She's always leaving, always running about, always busy (not like his mum, who is never in a rush).

Harry (Lorcan can't call him Uncle anymore, at least not without feeling guilty) hates it and Lily loves it and he's not sure how he feels, but it's definitely different.

Lorcan doesn't know why Ginny leaves so often, but she does and he would be the last person to change that anyway- he's Lily's best friend and that's all it will ever be.

-:-

The third thing he notices about her is her enthusiasm. She tackles everything, absolutely everything, with all she's got, from dishes to Quidditch (not like his mum, and that makes _this_ easier).

She's strong and fierce and funny and the quintessential Gryffindor, everything he tries to be, wants to be, and he's envious but it's longing, idolizing envy (and something more, too).

Nothing can ever come of it. Lorcan would be dead if Harry knew, and Lorcan likes being alive.

-:-

"Lorcan," she says, pausing on her way out the door, "is something wrong?"

Yes, yes, everything's wrong, don't you know what this is like Ginny? Weren't you the much too young one pining after someone unattainable, once? He stares at her, seeing her dark red hair and not-aqua eyes and the slightly worried set of her mouth.

"I'm fine," he says, and she nods as she leaves, and it's just like always.

-:-

He sits on a couch in the Gryffindor common room and tries, tries and tries and tries, to do something else, to write one of the many essays due tomorrow, but he can only think of Ginny.

He's writing his essay for History of Magic about Harry Potter, and it should be easy because Lorcan knows so much about him, but it's not like he can write about _this._

_Harry Potter is important to me not because he saved the Wizarding World, but because I'm in love with his wife_.

Yes, that would go over well. Rolling his eyes and his parchment, he leaves the common room and climbs down to the dungeons.

He needs to see Lily- not that he intends to tell her anything, but she looks like Ginny and that is (has to be) enough.

-:-

"Lorcan?" Lily says, looking up from her own homework. "D'you need something?"

He looks at her (those not-aqua eyes, that dark red hair, but it's wrong). "Just a bit bored up in the common room," he says. "You don't mind, do you?"

She shakes her head with a smile. "You're always welcome, Lorcan." She directs a glare to a snorting fifth year, who immediately blushes and looks away.

He sits next to her and they're quiet for the rest of the evening.

-:-

But he's Lorcan and he doesn't (can't) keep secrets, and Ginny finds out only a few months later.

He's visiting Lily and Ginny comes into the room while Lily's in the bathroom, and there's this look in her eyes and she _knows_.

"I'm not sorry," he says (there's that Gryffindor spirit).

"I didn't think you would be," Ginny says, her not-aqua eyes dull (not enthusiastic at all, which is the real surprise) and she doesn't seem to be looking at him, but rather past him through the window.

He nods and there's silence- he can't speak and she can't either, even if something does need to be said- and Lily comes back into the room and it's too late anyway.

-:-

He thinks his mum might have always known.

Luna comes up to him as he sprawls on the couch, and her expression is uncharacteristically sharp.

"It didn't go well," she says, and it's a statement not a question so he says nothing.

"Lorcan," she says.

"Don't, please."

She Summons some butterbeer, and he's glad that his mum does not leave, never leaves.

Even if Ginny loved him, she never would stay. She's Ginny, after all.

And he knows that, but somehow he can't forget those not-aqua eyes (but maybe someday, he'll be able to).

**A/N: I'm judging for a competition, Royal Competitions, at HPFC that could use more entrants. There's multiple categories, so there should be something for everyone! The link is**

**www . fanfiction topic / 44309 / 64091918 /1 / #64808876**


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